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Trying to think of gendered jobs

That is, when you say you are an X, people therefore expect you to be a certain gender...

Nurse vs. male nurse
Prostitute vs. male prostitute
Janitor vs maid/housekeeper

What am I missing? I'm sure there are many more.

Depressing news of the day!

Do women tend to think that men are smarter than they are?
Surprisingly, [both] men and women perceive men being smarter across generations. Both sexes believe that their fathers are smarter than their mothers and grandfathers are more intelligent than their grandmothers.

What about the kids?
If there are children, [both] men and women think their sons are brighter than their daughters.

Okay...I'm going to try to stop talking about how dumb I am*.

It's funny, too, because I recently got a letter from my college, telling me that I'm (tied for) the top graduate in my program. And I'm almost more embarrassed than anything else about it -- because I didn't try all that hard for it. I tried, yes, but I know full well that I could have worked much harder. So I feel embarrassed that I got top marks, while other people who studied far more, still did worse than me.

Though there was only one man in the program...and while the teachers (female) thought he was great, I didn't. :P

(I don't think he was the other top graduate)

* Hilariously, AS I WAS WORKING ON THIS POST, I called myself an idiot. This is going to take work, I see. I did hamstring myself a bit for a possibly-exciting job, but...yeah.


I neglected to give the link that made ME think about Twilight differently...I am not insightful enough to come up with this stuff on my own, that's for sure!


Fuck it all

I hadn't thought I'd end up defending Twilight. It's crappy and anti-feminist. Still true, that's blindingly obvious. But I'm pissed off that a woman writes something for women and it becomes POPULAR with women....and that's made out to be the worst thing EVAH.

Tyler Perry's movies are pretty similar to Twilight, once I started thinking about it. Made for an American black audience by an American black man. And very popular.

Are they problematic and just generally bad? Yeah, I'm sure. But who else is making anything for women or a black audience? Uhmmmm...aahhhhh...well....BUT THESE ONES ARE SO BAD, stop watching them! You're not allowed to like it, because my opinions trump yours!

We hear that women don't go watch movies, or will just go see whatever the man wants to see. And the second part is true -- women will watch movies with male protagonists featuring male fantasies. But men won't go see "chick flicks".

A lot of men won't even read Jane Austen. Cause she's boring and all talking about relationships and BORING. GAWD. There were WARS GOING ON, JANE.

Men are allowed (and expected, really) to have tons of crappy movies for them. But when women have one? Ohhhhhhh teh wimmenz are teh worst! Never mind that James Bond is emotionally crippled and uses and discards women like kleenex! Never mind that Iron Man is an arrogant douchebag who uses and discards women (or abuses one as his assistant). Never mind that almost no movies feature women as anything but something to look at, or cry on occasion. Why don't you complain about how those teach men to be dysfunctional? Cause those are good movies and you better like watching men do things, dammit!

Women don't get anything, and then everyone condemns it if they finally have a damn movie and they like it. Get back to me when you complain equally about what men learn from movies.

http://fugitivus.wordpress.com/a-daily-dose-of-sexism/the-bechdel-test/ (And the movies just baaaarely pass the test)

Sweet cuppin cakes I am so livid

Aight, so guys who think you're "good" and "enlightened" and "don't hate women"?

Don't start calling them ugly and so forth as soon as you get mad at them.  Actually maybe you should, then we know you're really a misogynist fuckwad.


Hey you know what sucks?  Being alone in a new province, in a hospital, for a surgery you didn't see coming!  I didn't even get flowers.  My dad didn't even tell me he loves me.

I guess that's what happens when you don't want to make people worry about you, you pretend things are more ok than they are (then it turns out they don't worry anyway, so it doesn't matter).  I could have used some more caring, but oh well.  I haven't died.

Sucks to have only your employer there for you, though.  But better than no one.

What a girl wants

This girl has the best boyfriend who makes her very very happy.  "you are exactly what i want in life" he says.  I'm one lucky woman.

But otherwise in life, there are a few things that I would like.

1) Be debt-free and secure with money.  I'm not great with money, but I want to be.
2) Travel all over and see the world with Jacob!
3) Have a home of my very own.

I don't have any career goals in that list.  I don't yet really know what they are, other than to have a job that I don't hate.  Preferably taking care of our heritage.  I hope when I get back to Ottawa this will be somewhat feasible.  I don't want to chase work around the country, although I know you need to generally put the time in until you've earned A Real Job.

Also...Source pineapple-coconut-banana yogurt?  It's really yummy.

At a loss

I don't know what to do about harassment in my own home.  Anything seems like it would just make it worse.

"I'm not a feminist"

This is one of those things in life I just don't get.  "I'm not a feminist."  "Don't you think there should be gender equality?"  "Well yeah, but I'm not a feminist."

Yes.  You are.

This is the same thing that happens to a lot of people with the term "atheist".  The connotations of an atheist (to some sections of society, or even a lot of society, depending on where you are) are bad.  It's a label that people don't want, for the same reason they think it's a bad thing to be a feminist.

Atheism is a lack of belief in a god or gods.  Feminism is the pursuit of parity for women.


There are terrible atheists, terrible feminists.  HP Lovecraft was an atheist, and also a big racist.  I'm still an atheist.  Many feminists do things I think are stupid.  I'm still a feminist.

If you don't like the way the damn label is perceived, then help fix it, instead of participating in making it worse.

Luuuuuuuurve shy

I've been thinking about this entry that [info]audrawilliams wrote about for a few hours now. 

I was/am pretty shy historically.  I've always got along fine with women, but men...?  Nope.  It's fairly difficult for me to make close friendships.  Oddly one of my best friends growing up was a boy, who I also had a crush on for years and years.  That never went anywhere, which in retrospect was understandable and probably good that it didn't.  It would have been embarrassing.  I WAS desperate!  That was pretty well all sexual frustration though.  So I understand how unhappy these men can be, and how it can really cripple you and turn it into something you can't escape.

I still am not great at talking to new people.

However, I am wayyyy better than I used to be.  I think partly this was working in retail, where you're forced to interact with others.  And secondly, from getting out there and hooking up with men (see a related post from me about realizing I'm not unattractive).  I've been rejected and I've been liked.  And rejection can hurt, but you can live with it.  I actually can have a tendency to think WELL IT MUST BE THEIR FAULT BECAUSE I'M THE GREATEST (varying with depression and thinking I'm horrible and ugly).  I don't, however, believe that I'm entitled to a relationship with a gorgeous man.  I think that may be more often men who focus on physical attractiveness.

(I got a sexy man though!  Wooooooooo!)

I'm still pretty well unable to meet men anywhere other than online, though.  It can be hard to meet people to date if you don't have a base of friends (to meet available friends of friends) and are fairly solitary to begin with.

Before this Nice Guy/Love Shy trend appeared, I'd been thinking about this.  I'm proud of myself for how far I've come.  Would I have been able to move to Nova Scotia all by myself 5 years ago?  The odds are not good.  I was barely able to call up strangers on the phone.  I hated it.

Anyway, that's my experience with shyness.  It takes work, and recognition that not everyone will like you.  Will I ever be that person who can chat with anyone and make friends wherever they go?  I don't think so.  But it's ok.  I will continue working at it.